Number 19

Prior to September 20, 2020, I did not know anybody that had tested positive for Covid-19. On that day, I found out that my little brother had Covid-19 and was in the ICU with double pneumonia. Yesterday, I was called to the hospital because my brother's oxygen levels were low and it was time to say good-bye. When I got there, I, along with my other family members, did what over 200,000 American families have done. We said our tearful good-byes outside of a loved ones ICU room. But, at least he wasn't alone.

His palliative care doctor held his hand while a nurse held up a tablet so that he could hear us and those not at the hospital say their good-byes to him. We watched as they took out his intubation tube. We watched as he quietly passed, leaving all of the pain of the past week and a half behind. 

Today, my son Andy texted through a group text that he noticed that the local government's Covid-19 app had updated the number of county deaths to 19. He was upset that his uncle was now just a number. My daughter, Holland, added that she was also very upset because people were saying things like "19 is not that many deaths". 

Every time that the local press or newspaper reports a new statistic or the fact that numbers are spiking, there are always trump supporters chiming in "fake news" or "what is the big deal, 99 percent of those that catch it will survive". 

My brother was the first person I knew who definitely had Covid -19 and he ended up being that 1 out of 100 that died from it. He is the 19th person to die from it in our county. But, he is more than a statistic. He is not "virtually nobody", as the president called the number of people who got this very deadly virus. His life mattered. 

I am writing to tell you about my brother, Edward Konaha, who died after contracting Covid-19. I wish more people would share their loved one's life stories.

My brother, Eddie, was born in 1966 in Sheboygan to Peter Konaha Sr. and Sharon Rabideaux Konaha.He was a proud, enrolled member of the Menominee nation. 

When he was a young boy, he had an odd love of cowboy boots, dickies and dress-up shirts with ties. When he was school aged, he loved to play baseball in the local recreation department. He was an outstanding pitcher and played for many years. He and his brothers did funny things like playing in a band in the garage singing "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog". He liked to scare our mom by jumping off the garage roof. He played hooky with his sister Carol and brother Peter, always trying to make sure that their big sister (me) did not find out. On a family trip to our uncle's lake lot in Keshena, he decided to jump out of the back window of the station wagon shouting "Mannix!" right before he fell to the ground, breaking his leg. 

When he was very young, he met the woman he would marry, Chris Kewin. They got married and had 2 boys, Jeffery and Jonathon. Altough the marriage eventually ended, Chris ended up being a lifelong friend that Eddie could always count on.

Throughout his life, Eddie was an avid Packer fan. He was a devoted son to his mother when she was alive, always going over to her house to spend time with her. Following her death, he spent a lot of time with his step-dad, Bill Dodge Sr. They spent many hours watching the History Channel and eating KFC or one of the dinners Eddie would make for Bill. 

The best part of Eddie's life was the time he spent with his grandchildren; Quinn, Lydia, Aubree, Odin and Josiah; they were his pride and joy. 

Eddie was an employee of Kohler Co. and a proud member of the UAW Local 833. I still remember when Bob and I joined him when the union went on strike; he was so proud to be part of such an organization, for which in was a union steward. 

Eddie was a loyal brother to his brother and sisters. He spent many times hanging out with his brother, Peter having fire pits and playing cribbage. He often gave rides to his sister, Carla and her children after her husband Dino died.He attended almost every family event from birthdays to our extended family Christmas bash. At these events, he was pretty much the life of the party. He was always the one to share recollection of stories from the past. He would play cribbage with various members of the family, who often brought along a board just for him!! (Melody and Andy LaFave). Anytime anyone would call him to join them for a night out or a ride, or a place to stay....he was alway there.

He was more than a number. He was our Eddie.

 

 

Rainy Day Games/Activities

As any grandparent knows, it can be challenging to entertain a grandchild without some form of electronics or video game. I have 5 grandchildren and over the years, I have discovered there are quite a few activities and classic games to keep children busy. Some of these are learning tools and others are games to keep even your most resistant child active!

Most of the games I bought at a second-hand store, so they were well-made games at a considerably reduced rate. You should be able to find these games online on either eBay or Amazon. Most of the activities were ideas I learned either from preschool teachers or from my own experiences.

The first game I will be introducing is a game I found at a local thrift store, Can You See What I See?

Game Facts

Name: Can You See What I See, Finders Keepers Game

Publisher: Gamewright

Players: 2-4

Ages: 4+ (a very bright 3 year old can play, if they have the attention span)

Game time: 10-15 minutes

Set Up

To begin,every player is dealt X amount of cards (depending on how many people are playing). The object of the game is to be the first player to get rid of all of your cards. Each card has a jumble of random objects (toys). The smaller "object" cards in the center of the playing area.

How To Play

Each player turns over one of the small cards and all players must look at their cards to see if any of them contain the object. Each card that has a match is removed from their table cards, by each player, into a discard pile. The first player to remove all of their cards into their discard pile is the "winner". It should be noted that each player is responsible for their own cards. In other words, no shouting out "You have (insert object) in that card......this makes the game much more challanging, since some of the objects are camoflauged!

Loads of fun! A very durable game. Overall, I rate this game an 8, on a scale of 1-10.

Guardian Angels....and Saturday Night Shenanigans

Last weekend, we had a family night. Our plans included a dinner out at Rupp's on Washington, which is in Cleveland, and then a long overdue family game night at Rianna and Perry's house. I couldn't wait because I love supper clubs and I love family game night!!

Dinner went as expected....the kids were well behaved, the food was good.


Gabriel and Lainie, picture by Ian

Then the drive home......

We knew that some snow/rain was in the forecast for some parts of the state. We did not expect to get any kind of bad weather in our area. So, we were surprised to get out to the parking lot around 7:15 to a good amount of slush on the ground. We immediately changed plans to game night at our house, since Perry has 4 wheel drive, and we only have front wheel drive. The boys wanted to drive with us, which was okay with Andy and Melody because they had a few errands to run before coming to our house. At this time, the snow is not bad and the roads are driveable.

But, this is when it gets weird. Bob, normally is the guy who always has to have everyone drive in sync....usually he follows someone or vice versa, so that we don't lose each other. He even has designated meeting times whenever we go to Summerfest, the zoo, or Bay Beach; he is notorious for being "that guy"...the one making sure everyone knows the place/time that every one should meet up so that nobody gets lost....heaven forbid!! So it was a surprise to everyone that he just took off, without waiting for anyone or making "plans". His excuse was that he was positive he knew a faster, alternative route than the one we took in.

We all drove to the restaurant separately. Bob and I took Highway 43; it took us about 20 minutes to make the trip. On the way out, Bob decided he wanted to take a different way. He said something about Dairyland Drive. I, not being a driver, think he is going to be taking LS (Lakeshore Drive) because that is the route we often take during our drives to Cleveland and places north of the area....I figure Bob is just calling LS by an older name; thus, I do not question the route because we are going in the direction of LS. About 20 minutes later, the weather is getting worse. Bob is thinking out loud, wondering where the signs that indicate we were close to Sheboygan were. I take out my phone, turn on Google Maps, plug in our address and it shows that we are now 40 minutes away from home!! I say this info out loud to Bob, telling him that I must have typed the address in wrong....but he says "I must be going north! I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere".

Meanwhile, the snow is getting considerably worse, as are the roads. We find a place to turn around, Bob is still unsure what road we are on....I tell him we are on LS, but the whiteout is pretty bad and we cannot read any of the signs. There is one point that we are on sheer ice and the car is gliding.....I am saying, "Oh, my God....oh, my God!"

Luckily, we get past the sheer ice. Now, we just have to figure out a place to turn so that we can get off of LS, which is now in terrible shape, and get to the highway. We find an intersection and Bob figures out that Washington Avenue is just a block up...and that road leads us to the highway.

On our route, we see at least one car in the ditch. The rest of the ride home was fairly uneventful, thank goodness. It took us almost an hour to take a trip that should have taken us 20 minutes.

It wasn't until later on in the week that we realize how lucky we were. When Bob finally relates how he got lost going from Cleveland to Sheboygan to the guys at work, one of his work friends tells him "On that road?  It's easy to make the wrong turn and in that kind of weather, I am surprised you didn't get stuck in a ditch". Now, in retrospect, I think it could have been much worse than just being in a ditch. I really think we may have had a guardian angel with us, guiding Bob as he drove with our very precious cargo.

Now the "Shenanigans" part of the night. While the adults played Wikipedia and Farkle, the kids played several different games during the night. Some with me, some that they made up as the night wore on. Grocery store, Characters (much like Barbies, but where they each grab a character to play with the Barbie camper/Princess castles), and Zombies. As the night progressed, they all kind of scattered to different things. Ian was on the Kindle. The other three were wondering in and out of the playroom, which is next to the living room Just off of the playroom is a little elevated alcove that is a little store room for more toys and has just enough room for someone to hide in (there is a curtain covering the front of it). Important to know this for what happened next.

So, the adults were playing a game. Ian was in the living room with the Kindle. I saw Lainie go into the playroom. Awhile later, I saw Gabe, Lucy and Teddy go in there. I could hear them playing. I was wandering in and out of the kitchen/living room. Suddenly, we hear a piercing scream from Lucy. I turn around and see (we all see) Lucy, Gabe and Teddy racing into the living room with looks of sheer terror on their faces. Teddy had locked his hands around Gabe's arms as Gabe was racing from the room because he was basically shell-shocked and could not make his legs move to get himself off of the ground. They all three sat on or near Papa's recliner. We asked them "What's wrong?" and all they can do is point and I hear one of them say, "The doll's head".

We finally get them to relate how they all heard a knocking and then saw a doll's head appear from behind the curtain. We all realize that it had to be Lainie playing tricks...we go to check and sure enough...there is Lainie behind the curtain...already starting to cry as she realizes that the joke did not turn out as planned. This is the doll and this is the curtain:

Lucy was crying her little eyes out and her heart was beating so fast! Teddy was actually shaking for awhile after it had happened.

A night to remember....one for those "Remember that time....."stories.

Later, when I asked Teddy what was scarier, the ride home or the doll incident....he says "The doll, the ride was not even that scary".

"I Wonder Why He Picked Us?"

We recently lost our beloved cat, Gobi. She was such a sweet, pretty, loving kitty. My son Andy adopted Gobi while he was a student at UW-Madison. He brought her home and when he married Melody, Gobi became ours because Melody and most of her family were allergic to cats.

Teddy with My Gobi

At first, Gobi was the definition of "ennui"...she could not care less for the people that fed, watered and changed her litter for her. After a couple of years, she changed her attitude and became a lap kitty. She had her favorites, but also became a favorite of many...especially my three grandsons (my granddaughters have two cats of their own).

Gobi loved the boys!! Anytime they were over, she could be found resting right next to one of them. When she passed away, all of them were very sad..but, Gabriel took it the hardest. He cried and declared, "I am not going to like Mondays anymore".

At first, I was adamant that I would not want another cat...nobody could take Gobi's place. First of all, I usually preferred boy cats to girl cats because they were usually better behaved. I believed Gobi behaved the way she behaved....so lady-like and lap friendly...largely because she was a female cat...(without some of the annoying habits of other female cats we have had). Boy cats were better behaved, but none were as cuddly as my Gobi; I did not think it was possible to ever get another cat to take her place.

But, after I got over the profound sadness I felt after she passed away, I thought it would be okay to at least look at the furry friends at the Humane Society. I was largely swayed by how my son Michael's cat, Ishmael was acting following Gobi's death; he was exhibiting signs of loneliness. I decided to bring my grandsons in on my visit to he animal shelter. I was explicit in my "rules" prior to our visit.....all of the cats in my life had happened as if they were pre-destined to be our pets....meant to be. I would only adopt if I 'felt something'.

When the boys and I were looking at all of the cats, there was only one that stood by the front of their cage. Only one that "meowed"and stubbornly stuck out his paw, encouraging us to stop by and pet him.

Cimaron, whom we would rename Henry, had scars from some kind of attack. His ears were tattered and there were bald spots on his neck 😢.  We were told that he looked a lot worse when he was brought in, that he actually had abscesses on his face! And yet, my grandsons were unanimous in their choice of what cat they wanted to bring home.

Henry with his tattered ears. 

Sadly, the adoption was delayed because Cimaron/Henry chose to bite Ian during our first visit with him. Even after the bite, 10 days of quarantine....my grandsons still wanted to adopt him. We agreed that since Henry had been such a loving cat, was such a survivor...he was worth a second look. When the shelter called us to tell us that Cimaron was out of quarantine and up for adoption again, we made plans for the following Saturday. We had a successful second visit. Henry was still the loving cat that we first met; Papa and I decided we would move forward with the adoption. I told the boys that we had to buy some stuff before we finalized the adoption. We all visited the local Pet Smart and WalMart in search of a new cat bed and scratching post. The boys were so worried that someone would buy Henry before we went back to the shelter...but luckily that did not happen; little did they know that the lady at the SCHS was filling out all of the paperwork so that once we got back, all we had to do was sign.

So far, everything is going really well. I have learned that Henry is a very smart cat that actually learns from gentle direction and firm words. Things were a little shaky at first. He was sneezing at the shelter, but the lady there assured me that he showed no signs of a cold. Lol, of course that changed upon getting here. The first week, he was sneezing up a storm, eyes watering and not much of an appetite. But I sat by him to encourage him to eat, and he ate enough to keep me from bringing him to an emergency doctor visit. He wanted to go explore in the basement/rec room, but since he was not feeling well...I firmly told him he could not go down there..and he listens to this day! He won't go down even if I am down there, unless I tell him it is okay. Ishmael was very apprehensive of Henry at first, and Henry largely ignored Ishmael. But they are slowly warming up to each other. Luckily, they are both non-threatening cats....so no negative behavior at all towards each other.

Ishmael checking out Henry

Resting, but on guard

Once Henry got over his cold, his appetite returned and he is now drinking regularly out of their new water fountain. His coat looks a lot better and even his tattered ears are better. The only thing that he still does on occasion (when he is overly stimulated, is what I believe is the problem) is that he makes as if to nip at you if you pet him too long  or in the wrong place....close to his underbelly. I have read online that the best way to nip the nipping/biting in the bud is to firmly say "NO!",  while looking him straight in the eyes...and then put him down, ignore him for at least 20 minutes. It seems to be working, as he went from breaking skin the first time he did it, his teeth touching skin the second time, to now just opening his mouth to whatever offending hand is doing what he sees as dangerous/offensive. He has a vet appointment on Monday, and I will be sure to ask the doctor about it. I am determined to not surrender him, as I think the behavior can be altered, plus he is otherwise a very loving and loyal cat. One can only imagine what he went through to get that much damage; it will take time for him to feel completely safe AND learn what is inappropriate behavior. Even then, the people at the Humane Society told me that even old furry friends will react to things they do not like.....

Otherwise, he is very loving, getting more playful every day.

The boys are still marveling; Gabriel said to me, "I wonder why he picked us?"

Teddy and Henry

Henry with his scarred nose

One Grandma's Garbage....

My youngest grandchild, Teddy, has always been a person who finds wonder in the simplest of things. He reminds me of the story of  "The Littlest Angel", where the title character has a treasure box full of simple things....objects that most would find not worthy to give to a king....but, to the angel/boy, they are the things that he treasures most. That's my Teddy.

The other day, he ran into the house and immediately showed me this:

He was so excited and said to me, "Gaga, did you know that this can do this?"...as he pulled out the white circle piece to show me that it came apart. He was so proud to demonstrate his newfound knowledge! Thinking that the tape dispenser no longer was of use since he had already showed me what it could do, I threw it away shortly after...big mistake.

 As Teddy was getting ready to leave, he asked me, "Where's my tape thing?" I get frantic and tell him, "I didn't know you wanted to save it....I threw it away", as I take off the garbage can lid and make an attempt to look for it. Teddy's face makes me realize that what I had labeled "garbage" was, in his opinion, "treasure". When I tell him that the tape dispenser must have made it's way to the bottom of the garbage can..and there is too much yucky stuff for me to try to get it...he exits before I can tell him I am sorry! I feel like the worst grandma in the world. I spot the spaghetti covered treasure shortly after he leaves and clean it. I will never make that mistake again, lol!

It is true....one man's treasure is another man's garbage..or vice versa!

Little Gestures

When you are a grandparent, you try to teach your grandchildren as much as you can....take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself. Sometimes it may be as simple as showing them how to cut a piece of yarn in half. And some times the subject is deeper...such as handling the death of a loved one.

Prior to February 28, 2019, the closest deaths that any of my grandchildren lived through was the death of great grandparents and that of my sister, Carol. I know that they understood the profound loss that my family suffered with Carol's passing.. My grandson Gabriel, showed true compassion one day when he was playing on the swing in our backyard. 

He said to me, "Do you ever wish that you could be a kid again?" 

I thought about it and answered honestly, "No, because if I was a kid again, I would not have you guys in my life". 

He replied, with so much compassion and purity that it brought tears to my eyes, "But, then you would have your sister back". I will never forget the look on his face and the purity of the moment. 

On February 28, my granddaughters lost their beloved Bumpa Kaiser. His death, at the young age of 59, was devastating to his family and friends. So unexpected...how does one deal with expressing your sympathies of this loss to a child? 

The day after his death, my granddaughters came over to my house while their parents were with Grammee Kaiser, helping her with funeral arrangements. We made plans for my grandsons to come over after school so that they could play with and bring comfort to their cousins. I was a little worried about how the situation would play out....how they all would handle those first few minutes. I know it is hard for adults...much less little people.

Shortly after 3, I heard the front door open. Lainie and Lucy were sitting next to each other, playing on the computer. Ian, Gabe and Teddy filed in, looking timid and hesitant....unsure of what to do. Ian tip toed up behind the girls and patted Lucy gently on the head and then did the same to Lainie. I saw Lainie slowly turn her head to look up at Ian....and she gave him the sweetest smile. Those little gestures were all that needed. But, they said a lot.

I am grateful that God blessed me with these 5 little beings. They have taught me way more than I could ever teach them. Little gestures can mean a lot. 

Things Ian Told Me....

My grandson Ian

has always been an old soul. Full of love and wise beyond his years. During our time together, he has been quite a source of inspiration.

I love to remind him of things he has done or said that I will always cherish and remember. Ian, if you read this, know that I love these memories of you. My honest to a fault grandson with a heart of gold.

When he was about 2-3 or so, these things happened:

I have dyed my hair since I was in my mid-thirties. Being little, Ian was unaware of this. One time, he was standing next to me (as I was sitting and bending my head in his direction) and had a good look at the top of my head (my roots were coming in white...time for a dye job!) and announced, "Gaga, some of my hair fell onto your head!" (He had almost white/blonde hair). He wasn't being sassy...he really thought this, lol. 

Another time after Christmas shopping during the Christmas season he whispered to me, "Gaga, we got you a present with letters in it. But don't tell anyone....it's a secret".....lol (on Christmas day, I found out it was a Deluxe Scrabble game....we still play it!). 

My daughter got a cool idea for a "surprise Anniversary/birthday" present for me....a professional portrait of all my kids, their spouses and grandkids. They carefully made plans so that I would be surprised. But Ian spilled the beans a few days later (after picture day) when he announced to me that they had all done something on "picture day"[although, as my 4 children will tell you, I am very hard to keep secrets from.....it is my snoopy nature, lol.....Michael and Holland went to the movies on a weekday (first weird thing) then I called Rianna's house that day....he answered and I figured something was up....they tried to cover it up by saying that the movie had sold out and instead of coming home, they visited Rianna instead 😉]